Introduction
Welcome to the corner of the internet, a place so cursed that even skibidi toilets are like, ‘Bro, this is too far.’ 
Save I promise this guide will give you the safest possible methods to eat poop.
Secret Fact
There are actually legitimate reasons why someone might need to eat shit.
Why Would Someone Eat Poop???
Medical Reasons
In fact, it is Doctor's Orders, BRUH. 
Save Fun fact: I learnt about this during a 3 AM Wikipedia rabbit hole, and my mind was BLOWN. There’s this thing called faecal matter transplant or “poop transfer”, and it’s a legit medical procedure. Be the GOAT-tier to the extent that your shit goes on to become someone else’s life-saving potion. Absolute sigma move.
Desperation
In the wilderness, famished, and the only “snack” around is… poop. Suddenly, poop looks like the off-brand version of a protein bar. You’d probably look at it and think, “Damn, this ain’t it.”
How to Eat Poop Safely
Step 1: Pick the Right “Brand”
Not all poop is created equal. Think of it like fast food, you wouldn’t eat from the dumpster behind a gas station, right? The same rule applies here. You want poop that’s so premium it has a Spotify playlist and a gym membership. You don’t just pick up any random turd like it’s a Pokémon card. You want top-tier, high-quality, free-range poop. Basically, the Whole Foods of faeces.
Step 2: Heat the shit up
Rule #1 of poop-eating: no raw-dogging. You wouldn’t eat raw chicken, so don’t start with poop. Boil it, bake it, deep fry it and heck, throw it in an air fryer if you want that crispy crunch. Just make sure it’s sanitised. Because dying from poop is not the kind of legacy you want. 
Save ^ This chocolate cake is quite expensive xD
Step 3: Presentation
You’ve got the poop. Now it’s time to plate it like Gordon Ramsay is watching. Add some parsley, drizzle some balsamic glaze, and call it a “deconstructed earthy delight.” Bonus points if you convince your friends it’s a new TikTok food trend.
Pro Tip: Rename It for Maximum Rizz “Earth Truffles.” “Nature’s Protein Nuggets.” Call it anything but poop, and suddenly it’s a Michelin-starred delicacy.
FAQs
Can You Die from Eating Poop?
Technically? Probably not, as long as it’s sterilised. But emotionally? Oh, absolutely. The shame alone will haunt you forever. Imagine explaining that to your grandma. “Yeah, I ate poop. It was a vibe.”
What Does Poop Taste Like?
Word on the street (not sure which street) is that poop tastes… earthy. Like if Dirt had a midlife crisis. Some say it’s like eating disappointment wrapped in regret. In other words, don’t expect Michelin stars.
Trusting the Wrong “Source”
If your buddy Chad offers you poop from his backyard and says, “Bro, trust me,” don’t. Chad is not your friend. Chad is trying to ruin your life. 
Save
Recipes Featuring Poop
Poop Tart & Dark chocolate cakes
Take a regular Pop-Tart, add some chocolate frosting, and call it a “Poop Tart.” Serve it at your next party and watch as your guests question all their life choices.
It's not a Prank
Convince your friends you’ve started a poop-based diet. Post reviews online: “OMG, I've unlocked the ability to fly and teleport!” Watch as your post will go viral with high engagement.
The Psychology of Poop Cringe
Let’s be real—our brains are programmed to scream “NOPE” at anything poop-related. You can overcome the gross-out factor by thinking of it as eating durian, except durian doesn’t come with an existential crisis. It’s all mental. If you can survive this, you can survive anything.
Conclusion
DISCLAIMER: Do NOT even think about it. Forget about this bullshit article, I am NOT responsible for any consequences!